It was a Wednesday night. After a beautiful day, I found myself wide awake in bed thinking about you. It was a steered thought. I felt that maybe I love you too much. That soon enough, all this passion and excitement will fade and we’ll go back to being who we were before we all met. Perfect strangers.
I had to convince myself that maybe i wasn’t all over but deep down I knew it was. I yearned for something more, and although we shared deluded fantasies of more, I knew right then, as the tears cascaded onto my pillow case.
Drunk with sleep, I remember making a conscious choice. That I would let it play out. I’d already reached the destination but for the sake of formality, it has to go according to plan.
I’ve always been a captive of love. When it grips me, it cripples me. sometimes it’s bright and sunny. Other days it’s sad and gloomy. A love that comes with passion, truth and deep rooted emotions that can only be matched and not understood.
As I wait for my phone to buzz in the hope that you’re awake, more tears fall because I realize that I’m a hopeless romantic caught up in a mental love affair. Maybe one day my dreams will become a reality, but for now, I have to find a way to escape this captivity of one sided love.
I’ve wanted to give this to you so many times, but I didn’t know how. Now that I see you I can barely move. I’m afraid you will peek into my soul with the words and you’ll hide yourself. And maybe you should. We hug and say hello. You engage me in a conversation and ask if I’m okay.
“I mean I could be better” my heart says. But my minds keeps sane. “I’m great. I haven’t seen you in a while but you look good”
And with that she comes in and you get that awkward look on your face. You’re embarrassed, sorry and happy. And I stare at her for two seconds. And as I walk away I find myself comparing. She’s a beauty. Perfect curly hair and a killer smile and by your side she looks perfect. I really hope you’re happy. At least be happy.
~ Poems & Stories ~